“But How Do I Talk to Landowners?”

It’s not what you say, it’s how you show up.  Authenticity cannot be scripted.

The title question comes from an anonymous “Working Hard Ground” workshop survey.  Here are some principles and a few questions to get you started:

1. Drop your usual agenda.  Shift from getting a conversion or agreement to building a relationship. 

2.  If you are reaching out to them, don’t plan on getting that conversion or agreement until at least three good conversations.  

3. Ask yourself what you are curious about.  What do you want to understand about this person? Ask those questions.  

4. Focus on learning more about them than you convey about your programs.  

Getting there requires shifting your internal landscape.  I recently learned that one of my teenagers lied to me. I went straight to WTF- the common reference, not the awareness exercise from my workshops.  I only got to that later.  And that’s what it took -later.  I needed some time and distance to have the conversation from a place of calm curiosity and learn the why behind the behavior.  

Here are some questions you can ask.  Don’t ask them if you aren’t sincerely interested in their answer.  Asking without sincerity mimics the worst of active listening –pretending to give a shit so you can get to your objective.

- “How’s it going?”  Ask genuinely and you may get the unvarnished answer.

-  “What’s your biggest challenge right now?”

-  “What’s the most important thing to you right now?”

-  “Where do you need help?”

-  “How can I help?”

The questions are examples to get you started.  Rephrase them to fit your style.  For the last two questions, realize that you may not have anything to offer from your official toolbox.  Maybe you can connect them to someone else who can help, but the most powerful thing you can do may be to listen long enough for someone to discover their own new answers. Flip the bias-to-action mantra on its head: “Don’t just do something. Stand there.”  Being there may be more important than anything else you can offer. 

You will struggle. You will probably fail at some point. Success and deep learning come from pushing our comfort zone and occasionally failing.  We can't ask others to enter the uncomfortable if we aren't willing to go there ourselves.

If this all sounds slow to you, keep in mind that “T by 2000” (T representing “tolerable” soil loss) started in Illinois in the early 1980’s.  We’re nowhere near that goal a quarter century after the original deadline.  

You may not be able to do anything about the official tools in your toolbox, but changing how you show up internally and for farmers and landowners can change the relationships.  And relationships are more powerful than any program.